Couples therapy – how does it work in practice?
Couples therapy is a conversation process that resolves crises and develops your relationship
1. Through the sessions, you will rediscover your relationship and discover new ways to jointly understand and resolve conflicts or themes.
Couples are caught in interactions that evoke strong negative emotions. There is an imbalance and you are affected by the other’s “wrongness”. There is a crisis, perhaps thoughts of divorce or breakup, maybe jealousy, a pervasive resentment or something else entirely. Couples therapy works when the conversation opens up what is closed and removes what is in the way. In general, I seek to restore the mutual overview, opening up for new trust and intimacy: I seek to break with communication that creates distance, based on hurt feelings and disappointed expectations. We talk about them directly, not indirectly. I use a unique combination of the most effective methods that produce the most effective results. We work purposefully together to find new paths until there is clarification and resolution. Everyone gains new understanding, some make a difficult decision.
2. Preparing for the first meeting
First, we find a time. When we start, my most important task is to get a sense of who I’m meeting and how to “find you”. Therefore, I prepare myself before our first conversation, so I will ask you both to write to me, cc/ each other: – A little factual about who you are – A little about how you each see your relationship history, what you have created. – And of course some words about what you want to talk about.
3. At the first meeting, we build trust with each other
Talking about private, difficult things with a stranger can be a big mouthful. So when we meet for the first time, I first talk to each of you individually about your understanding and emotional reactions – even if they are negative. Parterapi spørgsmål. So I know where you stand, feel you, and make sure we can be together, even if we’re exploring new territory. The conversation and your efforts provide familiarity with the deeper emotions and reveal the separating patterns in your interactions. We will quickly be able to see your pattern of interaction so that you can do something new together, rather than just repeating something that doesn’t work.
4. results of couples therapy
-New understanding of each other.
-Better handling of conflicts.
-More closeness.
-Better and more confident handling of your differences.
-Greater confidence in your contact.
-But you will also experience other types of changes in your relationship: – A stronger sense of togetherness through actions that you can now both recognize. – Your new and better contact provides deeper insight into the other’s motives. – Confidentiality provides greater credibility in caring for each other. – More listening into each other and renewed energy to seek and understand each other.
5. Change needs help and time – How many hours do you need? It’s best if you promise each other a certain number of conversations, preferably at least 5, although it can be difficult – I’m aware of that. De-escalating bad feelings, making room for new habits and a new perspective is not done in just a few hours. Many men find my approach useful when they want to discover who they live with and what works for them and their relationship.
